Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Teen Relationships: Parenting & Teen Dating

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Teen Relationships


While substitute teaching in a class today, a student, I will call her Kaylee, asked me to write an article about teen relationships and what parents need to know to help them, as parents, learn more about teen relationships.

The Top Five Things Teens Want Their Parents Need To Know About Teen Relationships
  1.  Listen to your teen.  Do not "spaz out" when they share with you that they are in a relationship.  Let your teen do some of the talking and sharing too.
  2. Avoid being verbally judgmental.  Teens understand that "good parenting" involves shared concern for teen dating safety.  But, try to avoid making negative assumptions and comments about your teens dates, what they look like and how they appear on the outside.
  3. When you see us together, don't try to be like us.  Don't try to be coo and act like a teenager.  You are a parent, not a teen.  This suggestion may keep you from embarrassing yourself and your teen.
  4. When discussing teen relationships, avoid sharing stories about your great dating experiences.  Teens want to hear their parents share and ask questions or make comments that bring about "yes" or "no" answers.  For example, "I hope you have a good time."  Approach your teen in this manner and "we may be willing to share more!"
  5. Finally, teens know that dating or being in teen relationships can be unsafe.  Most teens are already afraid.  We are afraid of relationship rejections, what others might think about their teen dating, unwanted pregnancy and other teen relationship concerns.  We know you are worried about us and our dating experiences.
Parents, be patient and be open to listening to your teen as he or she begins building teen relationships that includes dating.  Strive to be a open-minded parent.  Strive to be a parent who is there to guide, rather than appear judgmental and one who has all the answer for teen relationships.  As a parent you want your teen to come to you and seek your counsel.  The 5 things that teens want to you to know about their teen dating relationship will help you along the way.

@Suzie

Monday, November 26, 2012

5 Things A Parent Can Do To Prevent Facebook Problems & Texting Problems

For many parents and teens, Facebook and texting are great communication tools that keep the child and parent dialoging.  But, more and more parents are sharing that Facebook teen problems are a huge sore in their family and texting children are out of control.  Below are ten steps for parent to take to end the Facebook and texting nightmares in their family.
  1. Always know what your child is doing on the computer and phone.  Facebook has safeguards and recommendations for a parent to utilize to keep a child safe. It's a good idea to keep you computers in plain site and out of the bedrooms.
  2. Limit the amount of time that your child or teen has in using the computer for social reason.  The same is true for texting.  Meet with your child and predetermine the amount of time that you want him or her to spend on the computer.
  3. Let your child know that you can keep track of their texting time and Facebook time by phone and Facebook records.  Most texting records can be obtained by viewing your online phone statement.
  4. Discuss with your child the dangers of texting  and using Facebook.  Encourage your child to see you if they are ever threatened or receive an inappropriate text or message on Facebook.  Facebook operates on a "Friend" basis. You and your child have the ability to block a "non-friend."
  5. Have access to your child's Facebook pages.  In other words, you have to become a "Friend."  
Be positive.  The above listed steps do not have to be punitive, but an action necessary for your child's safety.  Tell your child that these are the recommendations that all "good parents" follow.


Monday, January 23, 2012

Depression in Teens is Growing in Minnesota and Other States

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, a number of epidemiological studies, up to an 8.3 percent increase in adolescents in the U.S., suffer from depression. In addition, research indicates that depression onset is occurring earlier in life today than in past decades.
A recently published longitudinal prospective study found that early-onset depression often persists, recurs, and continues into adulthood, and indicates that depression in youth may also predict more severe illness in adult life. Depression in young people often co-occurs with other mental disorders, most commonly anxiety, disruptive behavior, or substance abuse disorders, and with physical illnesses, such as diabetes.

An article released in the Minneapolis Star Tribune shared that “overdoses and suicide-related calls have jumped in metro-area counties, leading to increased crisis training for police officers.” The article also shared that “…two counties have seen their mental health 911 calls, including suicides and attempts, increase by more than 25 percent in the past two years, to more than 2,000 in Anoka and about 1,730 in Dakota county, Minnesota.

Due to the increase, many parents are searching for parenting programs to handle the onslaught of behaviors that comes with teen depression. Those behaviors may include anger, manipulation and disobedience at home. Parents need to seek medical attention from their medical doctor when they begin to see the symptom of depression begin to develop in their teen,

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

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Monday, February 7, 2011

Discipline & Child Use of Facebook and Other Social Networks

Now, more than ever, your role as a parent must involve your full attention when it comes to your child’s participation and time spent on the internet. Facebook, MySpace, instant messaging and other social networks all offer great experiences and fun ways to keep your child interacting with friends. However, there are many dangers in making the assumption that your child is always safe online and you need to become an active parent in this part of your child’s life.

ScottCounseling has heard from hundreds of parents who had to make their child use of the internet a discipline issue. Many parents share that their child become angry and even hostile when they are told that they will not be able to go online to meet socially with friends. The following article will help you, the parent strike a balance between appropriate internet safety and inappropriate online use by children.

Children And The Web: Striking The Right Balance With Internet Safety

by: James Druman

The internet now plays a huge role in our lives, and more so than we often know, in the lives of our children. Not only are internet connections typically found at school and at home but mobile technologies mean a growing number of kids even access the internet from places we would never have dreamed. While you may not satisfy your child's "need" for a smart phone, it doesn't mean their friend's parents don't.
With all this easy access to the worldwide web, children are exposed to an onslaught of potentially dangerous information and dangerous interactions with strange people you do not know. Most parents recognize this but feel powerless to do much about that—after all, we don't want to completely cut them off from internet use because, for all the dangers involved, there are also a lot of great benefits to modern communication tools.
So where do we strike the balance?

The first step in gaining some kind of control over how your children use this powerful communication device is, ironically, communication. We cannot completely control how or when our children use the internet, no matter how authoritative we try to become. Our number one step in "defense," if you will, is talking with our children about the dangers.
While completely monitoring every second your child spends online is a bit unreasonable, making rules about giving out personal details or talking with people they do not know is a little more realistic and possible to enforce. So talk with them and explain why the rules exist.
Another great set of tools in the concerned parent's arsenal are filtering programs. Most software designed to filter is set up with different accounts for different members of the family so that each person gets their own password for logging in. You can then set up a filter to make certain types of content off limits for certain users, and while the software is not perfect, it does a pretty good job.
You can also monitor the activity that has occurred on a computer using a certain account and go back later to see what children have been doing. While some parents may not feel comfortable doing this, it may be worth it, and often, just knowing their activities are possibly being scrutinized can be enough to make a child think twice before they view something they know is off-limits.
No matter what software you use, never underestimate the level of savvy children have with computer technology these days. If a child knows their stuff, it is completely possible for them to blast through filters and alter records so you never have a clue what they are doing. Let's face it, we snuck around our parents to listen to rock records or creep out to parties when we were kids, and in the virtual age, our children are bound to do the equivalent from time to time.
Yet another reason why it is much better to communicate with your child and teach them responsible web behavior rather than become the Internet Gestapo.
If you have reason to think your child is being targeted by online predators, which is, by far, the worst danger online, never let the issue go unreported. Keep in mind that even if your child did the right thing and dodged a potential danger thanks to what you have taught them, there are other innocent children out there to be victimized.
Always document any potential threats and report them to the police.

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