The Anxious Child: What Parents Can Do

Helping The Anxious Child

Parenting children who are anxious often makes the parent anxious too. Parents can help their anxious child develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don't evolve into phobic reactions. The following techniques may be used by parents to assist the child in coping with his or her anxious behavior.

Symptoms of anxiousness include:

• constant thoughts and intense fears about the safety

• worried about school

• frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints

• extreme worries about day to day routines

• fidgety, sweating and nervousness

• panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents

• trouble sleeping or nightmares

• fears of meeting or talking to people

• avoidance of social situations

• few friends outside the family

• many worries about things before they happen

• constant worries or concerns about family, school, friends, or activities

• repetitive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or actions (compulsions)

• fears of embarrassment or making mistakes

• low self-esteem and lack of self confidence

Fear is Real

As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to the child and it is causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. "Being able to talk about fears can help," Dr. Manassis says:

"Words often take some of the power out of emotion; if you can give the fear a name it becomes more manageable. As with any negative feeling, the more you talk about it, the more it becomes less powerful."

Always believe your child’s fears

Telling a child, "Don't be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!" may get him to go to bed, but it won't make the fear go away.

However, don't cater to fears. If your child doesn't like dogs, don't cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided.

Teach the child how to rate fear

Teach your child how to rate the intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest. Your child may be able to "see" the fear as less intense than first imagined. Younger children can think about how "full of fear" they are, with being full "up to my knees" as not so scared, "up to my stomach" as more frightened, and "up to my head" as truly petrified.

Teach coping strategies

Try these easy-to-implement techniques. Using you as "home base," the child can venture out toward the feared object, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. The child can also learn some positive self-statements, such as "I can do this" and "I will be OK," which he can say to himself when he feels anxious. Relaxation techniques are helpful as well, including visualization (of floating on a cloud or lying on a beach, for example) and deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are balloons and letting them slowly deflate).

Other strategies to implement

1. Set realistic expectations for your child
2. Use positive statements and reinforcement “I love the way you did that!”
3. Allow your child to succeed on his /her own
4. Allow your child to learn how to manage his/her own feelings by using a feeling chart
5. Avoid passing your anxiousness and fears onto your child

For More help with your anxious child, email a counselor with your question at: Ask a Counselor

Strategies for Anxiety and Stress

Coping Strategies for Anxiety and Stress

• Exercise

• Meditation

• Relaxation exercises including deep breathing

• Visualization

• Interpersonal skills in dealing with difficult people and situations or parenting skills training in dealing with your children

Prevention of anxiety and stress includes proper diet, regular exercise, rest, and the basics in terms of preventive health care maintenance. Diet is a large factor. Caffeine, stimulants, lack of rest, and lack of exercise all are factors that influence anxiety.

Great Stress Relief Books

Stress Relief Total Stress Relief: Practical Solutions That Really
Relaxation Basics: A Doctor's Prescription for Stress Stress Relief for Teachers: The Coping Triangle The New York Times Crosswords for Stress Relief;

Anxiety and Stress In Children

Anxiety and Stress

According to the American Psychological Association, over 19 million American suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. One out of every 75 people in the U.S. suffers from panic disorder. Women, more often than men, have been diagnosed with this condition more than men. So, what about kids? How does anxiety affect them? Is stress the same as anxiety? What can parents do if they feel that their child is overly anxious or stresses? This ScottCounseling article will provide you with answer to these questions. Parents will also receive some helpful tips and solutions so that you may teach your child how to cope with anxious or stressful situations.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling. Anxiety can include fear, apprehension and worry. It can be cognitive and emotional (mind), somatic (body) and behavioral (reaction to situation) that may cause a person to feel uncomfortable. Some Anxiety can be good for us because it alerts our senses to danger which may force us to do thing to protect ourselves. Constant anxiety may not be good because it may affect the body organs (such as our stomach) to increase certain harmful chemicals. Medical doctors often diagnose individuals who claim to have frequent headaches with anxiety-type disorders.

What is Stress?

Stress is any disruption of our normal, comfortable state that causes us to feel uncomfortable. Like anxiety, stress is a feeling, can affect our body and cause us to feel uncomfortable. Stress is pressure. It makes our mind and body work harder.

For more help go to: Ask a Counselor