Why Smart Kids Get Bullied

Are you a smart student who often becomes the victim of a bully? This article will help you beat the bully at his or her own game. Parents searching for answers to help their intelligent child stop being the victim of bully attacks will find this article full of anti-bully tips and bully victim proof ideas. Where do the tips and ideas come from? - an actual bully in his letter to you and you child entitled:

Dear Bully Victim,

Here’s some reason’s why I bully you:

You make yourself an easy target. I look for kids who talk too much, think they are smarter than everyone else and try hard to standout. I also look for kids her are super shy and just stand there after I tease them.

I also bully other people because I was bullied. In 4th and 5th grade I got picked on. Kids told me that I was stupid and ugly. One time when I got mad at a kid bullying me, I took his schoolbooks and other stuff and threw it all over the hallway. We both got suspended from school, but becoming a bully stopped others from teasing me.

Finally, I do not like myself. Even though others may think I am tough, I am really afraid. I’m not afraid of people, I’m afraid the people like you will find out that I am not any good at math and reading. Even though I am in the 7th grade, I can only read 3rd grade books and do 4th grade math.

Here’s some tips to help you stop me from picking on you:

Don’t spend all your time trying to be smart. I hate it when I am in your social studies class and you put down my ideas by telling others that I don’t have any good ideas. I also don’t like it when you answer all the questions that the teachers ask. You may be smart, but, most you make yourself a victim of us bullies when you think you have all the answers.

Become friends or at least be nice to kids who get picked on. If someone would have become my friend, or at least be nicer to me when I was younger, I might not have become a bully. In fact, you and I might have become friends.

Ask me for my advice. Oh, I might not be super nice to you because I might not feel I have any good ideas, but it’s good to know that at least someone thinks I have some brains. I might be nicer to you if you just give me a chance.

Walk away from me. Yes, sometime you are better off just ignoring my behavior. I know your parents want you to always tell them when you are getting picked on, but lighten up. Just because I gave you a funny look and sat in your lunch seat, just walk away and find another seat.
Okay, now it’s time to tell on me! When I took your stuff, hit you in the back of the head and called you a bad word…TELL AN ADULT!! You might be afraid, but really you are helping me. Don’t worry, your not a snitch; you’re actually helping me to change. You might be afraid that I will “get you” for telling on me, but most of the time, the teachers, principal or school counselors don’t give me you name. They just tell me that a teacher or another adult saw me do or say something bad to you. As long as you don’t do anything bad back to me, I probably won’t know you told on me unless your brag about it to other kids.

Demanding Child

My Child Is Demanding

It’s not unusual for Children to begin to make some kind of demanding remarks between the ages of two and four years of age. This behavior is often a test given by a child to test parent limits and boundaries. Children who are demanding often are seeking control or may be facing some stress in their life. Parents who avoid stopping a child’s inappropriate demands may only be reinforcing such behaviors and allowing the child to develop a false sense of pride and security. Furthermore, there is growing research that supports the notion that demanding children become teenagers who feel they are “entitled” and “owed” whatever demands they make. Children need to learn early in life that they need a balance between giving and receiving.

Steps in parenting a Demanding Child

• Sit down with your child and discuss the difference between demanding behavior and polite, respectful request. It’s appropriate for a parent to let that child know that he or she is being demanding and need rephrase or change their voice tone when asking for something.
• Let your child know that they are going to get some of their request met with the answer “yes” and some met with the answer “no.” It’s okay to say “no.”
• It’s important for parents to model appropriate request when interacting with others. Parents who demonstrate demanding behaviors in front of their children only promote and reinforce this behavior. Talk to your children in a manner that you want them to speak to you.
• Teach your child the manners of “please” and “thank you.”
• Be calm and do not appear to be surprised when your child becomes demanding. Then say, “is there another way that you can say that?” Sometimes children do not know that they are being demanding.
• Do not give in to your child’s demands.
• Ignore your child’s demanding behaviors. Respond to your child’s polite request. Over time, responding only to polite behavior will reinforce the behavior expected.
• Communicate with the other parent or adults when your child’s behavior takes on demanding tendencies. This will prevent the child from going to others with their inappropriate demands.
• Make sure that your child gets your attention when he or she is acting appropriately. Demanding children often display this behavior to get the parent’s attention.
• Before bringing your child to the store or mall, review with the child your expectations of this trip and what you expect of them. It’s okay to let the child know “that we do not have the money to buy you a game on this trip to the store.”
• Let your child know that it’s not appropriate to make demands of you in front of their friends or in public. Make a rule in your house that says, “When you make demands of mom or dad in front of your friends, the answer to the demand will always be ‘no’.”
• Do not use physical force in response to your child’s demands. This may only influence the child to become more physically demanding on you an other later in their lives. Remember, stay calm.

I am a parent searching for a program that teaches me to: Stifle The Demanding Child