Difficult or Challenging Child

Parents with difficult or challenging children need to assess what is or has happened in the child’s life.  Was their a death, trauma, change or surprising event that took place?  Was, or is their a family change due to a divorce, death or move?  Is there any medical condition that is or has taken place with your child or someone close to the child?  If your child has some pressing medical condition, see the child medical doctor and share your concerns.  Inform your child’s school counselor with information regarding a death, divorce or trauma related incident.  The school counselor may provide you with information, names and referral options for your child to see an outside school counselor or psychologist if necessary.

Meet with your child and set ground rules behavior.  Be specific and put the plan in writing.

Set up a “talking” plan.  This is a plan that defines how you and your child are going to behave while you are talking to each other.  For example:

1) We will speak in our school or restaurant voice (no yelling)
2) We will listen and not speak while the other person is talking
3) We will not use foul or inappropriate language such as
4) We will say how the situation makes us feel
5) We will summarize what the other person is saying to make sure we understand what has been said, and 6) We will come up with some workable solutions.

Pick your battles.  As parents we can’t go after everything.  For example, you may need to give up your desire for the child to have a picked up bedroom. You are, however not going to allow your child to swear or use inappropriate language. 
If your child is angry, depressed, anxious or not eating or sleeping well, see your family medical doctor.  Your family doctor may have some medical answers to help you and your child.  Listen and follow your doctor’s suggestions.  Get a second medical opinion if you have concerns about your doctor’s recommendations.  If the second doctor is telling you similar or the same recommendations, it may be time to act of those recommendations.

Tell you child that you are going to hang in their with him or her.  No matter what happens your child needs to know that you love him or her!