Is Your Family Debt Causing Family Stress?
What Parents Can Do
Over the years, hundreds of students have shared with me that their parents are fighting, not speaking to each other, or are feeling stressed due to financial pressure. Common themes centered on a parent losing his or her job, not being able to afford “what others have, and battles among siblings who have to share “family gifts.” For years, many parenting authors shared their concerns and made claims that financial pressure was a leading cause of divorce in the United Stated. The good news is that many of these claims are no longer being made without proof.
Over the past five years, tens of thousands of Websites have been developed to assist families with financial advice to reduce not only debt, but the stress that comes with the debt. Most of these sites, however, do not provide resources, strategies or techniques for parents to utilize in helping their child and themselves reduce the emotional stressed caused by financial difficulties. To reduce family stress, help your child become more accountable with his or her money and become a role model in your home with financial matters, parents may apply some of the strategies listed below.
Have a discussion with your children at an early age (five or above) to let them know that items cost money. Have this type of discussion several times a year. Don’t lecture, but provide information in a learning atmosphere. Share (at an age appropriate level) what you, as a parent do for a job or how you make money to buy things. Don’t allow your child to learn that materials goods come at no cost.
Show your child how you pay your bills; what it cost to heat the home, pay for car repairs and buy groceries. It’s not appropriate to share your private computer accounts, codes and passwords for bank accounts. It is important to let the child know that you have a system in place to pay for things that your family needs.
Hold a discussion with your children that centers on the following:
Family/Individual Needs: Food, shelter, clothes, transportation (car), communication (phone), etc. vs.
Family/Individual Wants: TV, cell phone, toys, games, trips, jewelry etc.
Let your children know that you love them; especially during stressful times. Spent time talking, doing activities that don’t cost anything (play cards, games, read, take a walk etc.). Having fun does not have to cost a lot of money. Saying, “I love you” is free!
Jan Andersen, associate professor at CSU Sacramento, research indicated that financial pressure was not a leading cause of divorce in the U.S., but is often ranked four or fifth in that category (MSN, Money).
